How To Shift Your Relationship With Money

Relationship #1

Money affects almost all of the relationships in our lives. Our own relationship with money is where it starts. Although money is a neutral, we often give it a positive or negative charge. A positive money mindset is one of the first and most important steps of transforming your relationship with money. This is true, whether that relationship needs a complete overhaul or just some minor adjustments. 

Your relationship with money is #1. How you relate to money has a trickle-down effect on how money shows up in all your relationships. So, let’s dive a little deeper into how you relate to money.

You and Your Money

What is your relationship with money? Is it one of abundance and freedom, scarcity and fear, or somewhere in the middle? What is your self-talk when it comes to money? 

Remember, there is no judgment here at all. This is just something to think about and note. The thought always precedes the action. How you think about money matters. 

Is it something to the effect of:

  • There is plenty of money in the world and so many ways to bring it into my life. 
  • I have enough money now and limitless potential to earn more.
  • Money is a vehicle to help me live the life I choose.
  • I am in control of my money.
  • I have peace around money issues.

Or more like this:

  • I am often broke, as though money slips through my hands.
  • I never seem to have enough money and therefore, have trouble paying my bills.
  • Money is chaotic in my life.
  • I feel out of control when it comes to money.
  • I have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment around my financial situation. 

It may also be somewhere in the middle. When you start realizing how you think about money, you can begin to shift. The awareness of your thoughts about money is the first step.

Reframing Thoughts About Money, A Real Life Example

Years ago when my son was a young child, I was having a pool party at my house. The adults and kids were having a great time. Then, in the midst of swimming, running around the yard, and the general high energy that comes with young children, my sliding glass door in my family room somehow shattered. I believe a projectile toy inadvertently hit the glass in just the right spot.

There was glass everywhere and safety was the first concern.  After the scene was secured, one of my next thoughts was, “Oh no, this is going to cost a lot of money to fix.” Although, I did not immediately reframe my thoughts around the incident, I did within a day or two.

Seeing The Opportunity

So, how was I able to reframe my thoughts about an unexpected incident that was now going to affect my pocketbook? I had a mind shift. I chose to look at this incident as an opportunity. Yes, I would have to spend some serious money on the new hurricane proof door and windows. Yet, I knew the money would be well spent. As a result of this incident, and the new doors and windows installed:

  • I feel more secure in my home.
  • The view to my pool and garden is unobstructed.
  • My hurricane insurance rates were reduced.
  • My family room is full of more light.

The key here is the power to reframe my thoughts was my choice. I could have viewed this incident negatively. If so, I would have still needed to purchase the new door and windows but I would have suffered. The mind shift I made turned this incident into an opportunity instead of a detriment.

You Have The Power

Remember you have the power to change your thoughts about money. The thought precedes the action. You can make positive shifts in your relationship with money.

Yes, of course, you will also need to take financially responsible actions with your money. When you positively shift your thoughts about money, you are setting the stage to take those actions.

When you start to think a negative thought about money, such as I am always broke, acknowledge the thought but then reframe it:

  • I have enough at this moment.
  • I have the ability to earn and grow money.
  • Money is a thing. I am not broke.
  • I can continue to educate myself about money and how it works.
  • I control my money, it does not control me.

So, start where you are now, and begin walking on the path to financial wellness. Yes, every great journey starts with the first step. Reframing thought patterns about money, that don’t serve you, is a great place to begin.

Susan Howell
Written by: Susan Howell, The MoneyMaestra.

Even though I grew up without money, I was able to retire at 50 based on my financial practices. I worked for the Federal Government for 26 years, with 6 of those years at the IRS and 20 at the Department of Justice, which included investigating many money-related cases.

I created MoneyMaestra to share what I know and to help people get on the path to Financial Freedom.


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